Johns Family

New Calf

2012-01-31T09:40:00.000-08:00

Blessing had her calf yesterday.

Visit to Florida

2011-12-31T17:38:00.000-08:00

On Wednesday we went to Jacksonville (actually, Callahan) for a visit with our big-city family. My sister Darlene and her husband, Thurman, hosted us -- great food and fellowship. We spent some time with their son, Jonathan, his wife, Jennifer, their son Alex. My brother, Jimmy, and his wife, Iris, came over on Thursday and we all went to their house Friday evening for more great food, games, and fellowship.

Christmas 2011

2011-12-25T15:46:00.001-08:00

Christmas visit to South Carolina

2011-12-22T16:04:00.000-08:00

We went to South Carolina yesterday to celbrate Christmas with Cheryl's family. We came home today.

2011-10-17T16:08:00.000-07:00

We had a great weekend with our family. Karisa and Tegan flew down Thursday afternoon. Alethea, Justin, Camdyn, and Charlie drove down Friday. Johnmark had to work and was missed by all.

Photography on the Mall

2011-10-02T05:57:00.000-07:00

Alethea and I had a woderful time exploring the Washington Mall with our cameras. Unfortunately, it was a cloudy, hazy, drizzly day. We learned most people fail to take quality photos because (1) they forget the basics -- lighting, focus, paralax, depth of field, etc. (2) they are trying to preserve memories rather than create memories -- photos should "make a statement" about the human experience, (3) they make statues out of people and props out of statues -- strive to capture the human spirit being touched by the spirit of life, the awe of human encounter with greatness, (4) they fail to "enter into" the photograph -- photographs that make a statement carry the impression the photographer was an active witness/participant to an event in time and thereby invite the viewer to transport into that event, (5) they fail to have fun, if necessity is the mother of invention, joy is the energy of artistic creativity. I am not certain if our teacher was pre-post modern philosopher or a perpetual fine arts student.

Vacation 2011 - Group Shot

2011-06-26T13:05:00.000-07:00

Vacation 2011 - Cades Cove Friday Morning

2011-06-24T14:28:00.000-07:00

Vacation 2011 - Thursday

2011-06-24T07:04:00.000-07:00

Dollywood:

2nd Week of Vacation - Day 2: Hiking

2011-06-21T14:43:00.000-07:00

Our entire family is staying in a cabin in Townsend, Tennessee this week. We arrived a few minutes apart from three directions on Sunday evening. Yesterday, was spent tubing the Little River (no pictures). Today, we hiked to the water falls at Tremont. The hike is becoming a tradition with Cheryl and myself; the trail and water falls are not on published maps so that few people know about them.

Also noteworthy is the first family group shot with Tegan. An historic, if not quality, photo.

First Week of Vacation 2011

2011-06-18T20:33:00.000-07:00

This week we went to Virginia on Monday. Karisa and Tegan were at Alethea's. We went to see Alethea & Justin's new house in Winchester. We went to Camdyn's swim practice and her baseball game. On Thursday we made the trip home with Karisa, Tegan, Camdyn, and Charlie. Today, Shirley, Ryan, and Andrea came up for a visit.

Graduation and Visit

2011-05-28T17:49:00.000-07:00

We had honors night last evening and graduation this morning. We are very proud of our students. I has been wondeful to get to know them over the llast cuple of years (and longer for some).

This afternoon we drove to Shirley and Mike's house in Woodstock, GA to see them and Darlene and Thurman who were up for a visit. The pictures were out of focus but here is one anyway.

Karisa's Graduation -- Tegan Laughs

2011-05-09T21:12:00.000-07:00

[I have not written much in the last couple of months. I felt compelled to write about my cancer experience, but there has been little time for writing. In the two months (1) I made the trip to see Karisa and Tegan the week after my surgery, (2) I have taught all of my classes, attended all faculty/committee meetings, chaired a faculty group that wrote a major proposal to restructure our MA degrees, guided two doctoral students in the final editing of their dissertations and two masters students in the completion of their thesis, (3) I moderated a community forum on the growing influence of crime, gangs, and drugs on our community and families, (4) our basement flooded and has not yet been put back in order, (5) we hosted the church picnic and cook out, and (6) I have worked countless hours clearing up the aftermath of the severe storms.

With hind-sight the series on cancer was missing one major entry. I should have written about my greatest sense of loss during the days of uncertainty. I grieved the image of leaving Cheryl, Alethea, and Karisa, but I was confident I had already made my greatest contributions to their lives. I grieved for not having accomplished more for Christ. But my greatest grief centered on not seeing my grandchildren grow up. I want to be at their weddings and I want to hold their babies. I took some comfort that Camdyn and Charlie would have some memories of me. Leaving me with the greatest grief, that if things followed a negative prognosis, Tegan would have no recollections of me other than possibly those of a frail, dying man. I have so many wonderful memories of Camdyn and Charlie, but I would be cheated of knowing this beautiful gift. That thought was the most unbearable.

Thanks be to God, I have the hope of seeing all three of them grow into adults who know Him and serve Him in the joy of His salvation.]

I just completed one of the best weekends of my life. After a long eight days of regular responsibilities and cleaning up after the severe storms that devastated our property, on Friday I drove to Wheaton for Karisa’s graduation from her Master of Arts in Clinical Psychology degree program. I arrived in time to attend the reception held for her cohort. It is always wonderful to hear professors brag about your child, i.e., “she is one of the, if not “the,” most outstanding students I have ever had, a brilliant researcher and clinician, a superb writer”, etc.. The evening was topped off with getting to hold Tegan who was still a little under the weather from a cold and shots.

The graduation on Saturday was one of the better ones. I was suspicious of the choice of the speaker, Lisa Beamer—widow Todd Beamer, the 9/11 hero--, but she gave one of the best commencement addresses I have ever heard. With virtually no references to the past she challenged the graduates to a life of significance through Christian service.

However, ceremonies fade quickly from memory. The two images of the day that shall linger for the duration were found in the faces of Karisa and Tegan. At the graduation and following Karisa was beaming. She was beautiful; she was happy; and she had an air of contentment. I have told her on a few occasions that she was not the easiest child to parent. By that I mean she parented herself. She was always one step ahead of where I thought she needed to be. She was never a discipline problem. Instead she seemed to pride herself in exploring her possibilities without crossing the line into forbidden territory. Don’t get me wrong, she took great pleasure in running up to the line and planting her toes right on it. As I told her this week-end, I don’t believe I contributed much to her development.

The downside of having a hyper conscientiousness about life is that the seriousness and drive may rob one of the pleasures of just being. This was always my concern for her. She turned sixteen on a mission trip to the jungles of the Amazon. She turned eighteen working with impoverished youth in South America. She turned twenty-one ministering in the slums of Mumbai. She kept us on our knees and proud at the same time. I have no greater joy than to know my children serve the Lord. Seeing them fulfilled, content, and happy runs a close second.

The image that shall remain (with or without digitized pixels) is the one of Karisa in cap and gown holding her deploma and the large bouquet of flowers Johnmark got for her with Johnmark by her side holding Tegan.

During the morning before graduation Karisa commented on how much she was looking forward to hearing Tegan laugh. In the evening after graduation I had a glorious conversation with Tegan. We jabbered to each other. She is the most engaging nine-week old I have held, every bit the equal of Camdyn and Charlie. I told her stories of my childhood and I sang her some old hymns and spiritual songs. Through it all she turned on the charm. Our eyes were locked for the longest time; she smiled and beamed; and she cooed. My neck became stiff from looking down at her and I turned my attention to Karisa, Johnmark, and Cheryl. Each time I glanced down at Tegan she was focused on my face and glowed with contentment. All of a sudden she let out a distinct laugh, her first. The one for which Karisa had been waiting. We all heard it and we all rejoiced.

And so the circle of life rolls on. I am full of joy seeing my baby daughter full of joy seeing her baby full of joy. Karisa will keep her drive to do significant things, but I believe Tegan has taught her the great lesson I could not; sometimes it is enough to just be, to be with the ones you love.

Alice's Calf

2011-04-14T18:37:00.000-07:00

This blog is my official record of calves born. Alice had a bull calf early yesterday morning.

Alethea, Camdyn & Charlie Visit

2011-04-04T06:12:00.000-07:00

At my age?

2011-03-31T20:01:00.000-07:00

March 31, 2011

Okay, the cancer scare has faded and I didn’t get much out of it, unless you count the euphoria of the positive outcome and the opportunity to explore melodrama. I have now transitioned into contemplating the transformative power of surgery. Why is it taking so long to get over a little six-inch incision and the removal of one of my psychologically necessary organs?

It has been four and one half weeks since the assault on my self-identity and I am doing pretty well. It is really true, you can live with just one. What I am struggling with is the slow healing process. I blame it on the doctors; they have consistently spoken negative words into my spirit for the past decade or so. It all started when I broke my collar bone. Grimacing through the 15-on-a-scale- of-10 pain, I smiled and asked the pert ER physician how long it would take to heal. She responded with the first volley of recurring negativity, “If you were a young man, I’d say six weeks, but at your age it’s hard to tell.”

My doctor for this latest adventure in healthcare must have used the “at your age” insult four or five times. “At your age, the tissue might be a little stringy making it difficult to cut through without some permanent damage to the nerve that controls your bladder.” (In truth, it was the nerve that controls feeling in the inner thigh. Incontinence was never a possibility, at least not one he mentioned.) And of course, “You should be back to normal in 6 to 8 weeks, except at your age it could take a little longer.”

These prophets of prolonged suffering have hindered my faith and thereby extended my period of recovery. Or, could it be I’m milking it for all I can get out of it?

Actually, I am doing well. Some days I feel very healthy. But I have a tendency to overdo it on those days and pay for it for a few days thereafter. Tuesday was one of those great days climaxed by a less-than-stellar display of my wisdom. I got home and the task was simple, separate some of my cows and move them to a different area for a romantic rendezvous with the bull. All went well until they rushed past the electric fence which was buried under a downed tree.

It should have been a simple application of leverage to move the decaying section of the trunk which appeared to be broken. But just as I reached the point of no return in my upward lift I realized the core of the trunk was still in tack, demanding that I follow through or risk being hurt by its collapse on me. There was a little too much pull on my abdomen. I didn’t feel any pain, but I felt the pull none-the-less. By the time I got to the house I knew I would need an extra Ibuprofen that night. What I didn’t expect was pain the next day and a general sick feeling. And so, I have been doing what I have to do and propping my feet up as much as possible.

I am confident I didn’t seriously hurt anything. What bothers me is that “at my age” recovery is taking its own sweet time. How dare he say I might have stringy tissue?

What Backdrop?

2011-03-29T06:32:00.000-07:00

March 29, 2011

Yesterday was one month to the day since I had my surgery. It was a full day at the seminary. I had a committee meeting at 9:00 A.M. followed by a consultation with a faculty member. We had a longer than usual lunch with Cheryl’s nephew, Josh, and his wife, Bethany. They had been with us for the weekend. Josh preached on Sunday evening. After lunch I had an advising session with a student. That was followed by another committee meeting, followed by another consultation with a faculty member, followed by a SKYPE session with my online class, followed by a church staff meeting at our house.

When I got home I made a sandwich out of Sunday leftovers and gulped it down as the staff was arriving. As we were getting started with the staff meeting I began to feel ill. My evening meds/supplements were not sitting well with my sandwich. While each member of the staff shared about current events in their ministries I became increasingly aware of all that was going on at our church. As we looked at the calendar I realized I missed my allergy shots this month. My brain began to bounce around all of the things I am behind in at church, at the seminary, in my volunteer work, and around the house. A mild panic set in as I realized my extended cancer vacation was over.

After the staff meeting I retreated to the basement and attempted to unwind by continuing a project to gather and organize my digital photos. I have thousands taken over the last decade and hundreds more scanned into files on various old computer hard disks, CD’s and DVD’s. It is a project I started during my forced vacation. My unwinding became knots in my back as the various CD’s didn’t want to transfer their precious cargo into my new external hard drive.

Sometime before midnight it hit me; my life is just as complicated post cancer as it was pre-cancer. One of my resolutions in the early days of my diagnosis was that I was going to simplify my life; I was going to withdraw from commitments that didn’t clearly fit into the heart of God’s call on my life. I was going to be focused. Being focused seems easy when you think you might only have 24 to 48 months to live. But as the month progressed, my prognosis keep getting better and better. My easy out vanished. My irrefutable excuse for resigning from previous commitments dissipated into the atmosphere of probable good health. And I felt good; I was going to live!

Yesterday, the hope of long life took an inevitable turn. I am going to live and now I have to play catch-up. I am so behind in every area of my life. I haven’t even healed completely and I am playing catch-up.

When I went to bed after mid-night, I further reflected on my current state. My new backdrop for living is a blank curtain. No one has drawn beautiful scenery for me act out my life against. I am on stage, performing the same old lines from the drama of my life and the backdrop has gone blank. That old backdrop had all my cues neatly scribbled in; it was my cheat-sheet on how to respond in the various roles I played. Cancer has not given me a new backdrop painted with brilliant scenes of a more focused life. I am not starring in a new play; I am going to have to be the prop manager and artist who re-sets the scenes of my life. I have to design and paint the backdrop against which I live.

I am thankful the old backdrop is gone, although it remains a shadow on the new. It too dull and routine and contained too many scenes of disappointment. I had become a faithful, generative, survivor. (Thank you, Professor Eric Erickson.) My character was somewhat stale in its own drama. There was little imagination or creativity left. The critics might rightly have renamed me Mr. Do-the-Right-Thing While-You-Wait-On-Retirement.

And so here I am. Nothing has changed in my life; everything has changed in my life. Cancer has not thrust me into a new Off-Broadway hit. It has not afforded me the opportunity to start over. I am living in the same drama with the same cast of loved-ones, friends, and arch villains (wouldn’t you like to know who they are?). My challenge is what it always has been, or should have been, paint the backdrop against which I want to live my life, one scene at a time. The difference may be as simple as not taking life for granted, be an actor who writes his own script rather than merely reading the one handed to him.

If all this sounds mellow-dramatic, I admit it is. The change that is taking place within me will probably go unnoticed by all but my closest friends. But maybe, just maybe, I’ll surprise you.

Josh and Bethany Visit

2011-03-29T04:20:00.000-07:00

We were blessed to have Cheryl's nephew Joshua Bridges and his wife Bethany visit over the weekend. Josh preached for us Sunday evening. I was great and anointed message with a wonderful response by the congregation. The are a choice young couple that gives me hope for the future of the church.

Harris's Visit

2011-03-18T12:53:00.000-07:00

It was great to have my sister Darlene and her family to stop by on their way home from vacation and spend the night with us. Alex is a real charmer.

Thanks Be to God

2011-03-18T08:19:00.000-07:00

I saw my doctor yesterday to hear my detailed pathology report and begin discussing a treatment plan. God is so good to me. Dr. Thacker said my type of cancer is very rare (spermatocytic seminoma). They are confident they got it all through the surgery and there is no need for any other treatment. I will have a CT scan and other tests in six months just to make sure. To God be all glory, honor, and praise.

I had gone to bed Wednesday evening and awakened Thursday morning with the same nervous feeling. It was that feeling I use to get in Junior High PE class when we were picking teams. “When will I get chosen? I know I will not be first, but please don’t let me be last.” I had plenty of faith the prognosis would center on a very high probability of survival and complete recovery. I was nervous that the cancer had metastasized and would require radiation therapy. I didn’t want the sickness that went with that treatment; neither did I want to live with the possibility that radiation therapy could cause other types of cancer to emerge. I was holding on to the hope it was stage one and I might be given the option of waiting to see if it had metastasized. That would require scans ever three months for a couple of years and less frequent scans after that. I wanted to be picked first in this game of life or death.

As my doctor gave his report it just kept getting better and better. My cancer is so rare they don’t even have a protocol for when to do follow-up scans. “We’ll say six months, if that’s all right with you.” If hearing for the first time that you have cancer is surreal, hearing such a phenomenal report is equally so. It was like winning the door prize when you have never won anything in your life. As he unfolded the layers of good news the thought kept bouncing around in my brain “this must be a good feeling for Dr. Thacker.” He has never had a case of spermatocytic seminoma. I wondered how many times he had given a bad prognosis. I could see a hint of excitement deep in his eyes and in the ever-so-slight smile on his face. It was as if he was playing his own internal game of wearing a doctor’s poker face, the one they begin teaching on the first day of classes in medical school, circa “Patch Adams.” “We’re going to educate the humanity right out of you and make you into scientists.” I was contrasting his calm demeanor during the bad news of my office visit exactly two weeks and six days earlier with that of this day. There was a difference, and I was glad for it; it made his words ring with the tone of truth.

I was also carefully monitoring Cheryl. She sat across the small examining room with notepad and pen in hand as if attending a lecture by some prominent scholar. She didn’t want to miss anything important so we could do our research when we got home. She doesn’t wear a poker face, but neither does she show much expression in times like these. It is more like she had slipped into the persona of being a graduate student discerning what might be on the qualifying exams so as to take the notes in the best way possible for future study. It is not enough to take notes; you have to take good notes. Her relief was seen more in her body language than on her face. She relaxed, sat up a little straighter, and just seemed more open and free.

As for me, I was competing with Dr. Thacker for the best dispassionate demeanor. I can be just as calm, cool, and collected and he. I lost. I could feel the smile cracking open no matter how dispassionate I wanted to appear. I shifted gears and tried to look confident, sort of, “I’m a man of faith. I knew this is what you were going to say all along.” Mostly my thoughts were prayers of thanksgiving and awe. Why is God so good to me? Others are more deserving, but that is why it is called grace.

I am confident this encounter with cancer has indeed painted a new backdrop against which I will live my life for quite some time. What is not clear is exactly what is painted on that canvas in my soul. The power of backdrops is not their artistic beauty but their ability to set a scene. They can set a tone and create an ambiance, but it is what is done in front of them that captivates the audience. May my life now be lived as one who knows better than ever the beauty and power of God’s love for us all?

Reflections on Having Cancer

2011-03-16T13:17:00.000-07:00

In my brief journey with cancer I have discovered a few things about pain, discouragement, and the backdrops against which we live our lives. One thing I have learned is that pain demands our full attention. In the days following my surgery a great deal of effort was required to avoid pain. A sneeze or cough triggered a searing, tearing scream inside the region of my body being held together by internal stitches. Sitting down or standing demanded the skills of a surgeon and the patience of a Zen Master. During that first week I was keenly aware of a peace God had given me, but I was also aware my pain was one of the instruments of that peace. I was not concerned with having cancer. The mental energy siphoned off by the pain left little resources for self-pity. As long as every twitch might result in that searing pain, there was little room to contemplate my pending prognosis and treatment options. I discovered pain to be an analgesic for fear and depression. Pain is ironically a direct link to life and the desire to live. I recognize there is a point of unbearable pain that demands an end to the pain even if that means the termination of life, but pain wed to the hope of an end to pain intensifies the desire for abundant, pain-free life.

A second thing I have discovered is that a life-and-death crises is a powerful tool for transforming the backdrop of our soul, the stage upon which we live our lives. I cannot say with certainty, but I have a strong sense the old is passing away and a new vision of who I am is emerging. The shock of cancer is moving my focus from a present that is overloaded with thoughts of what must be done and a past burdened with some thoughts of what might have been to the future that lies before me. What can I do with the remainder of my life however long it might be? Don’t get me wrong, at this point I am very optimistic about having a very long life, but cancer has refocused how I see the present and the future.

It may be true that you can only live in the present, but you will live toward the past, the present, or the future. Pain and disappointment incline the soul toward the past, ever longing that things had been different. Responsibilities and/or self-centeredness incline the soul toward the now, seeking a sense of fulfillment or momentary satisfactions and pleasures. Hope tilts the soul toward the future, creating dreams of possibilities and refreshing the currency of eternity.

I long ago learned through experience and observation that pain and disappointment if left unchecked will lead to despair. Once despair has taken hold bitterness, while not inevitable, ever beckons like the sirens of ancient lore from the rocks along depression’s shore. If by grace one rejects the lure of the deceptive and chooses life over death, there remains the struggle to return to the voyage. Once locked in the battle to sail back out to sea away from certain destruction the storm itself might become the universe, the backdrop against which we live and from which we cannot seem to escape. Life is there constrained by the struggle to survive, to produce, to provide, to protect and that without the luxury of the hope of ever arriving at a calm and plenteous port. In short, it is all too easy to allow the responsibilities and disappointments of life to define our reality. Perhaps I am merely describing the melodrama known as middle adulthood.

Into the routinized tempest of my life has come a single word, “cancer,” a Cyclops from the deep that has plucked me out of the familiar struggles of rowing against the wind and planted my feet on a different battlefield. This is an altogether dissimilar struggle, one that redefines my very existence, shocks me out of my compulsion to live viz-a-viz past disappointments and present responsibilities. In this new arena I am forced into an all-together different present, one that peels the mask off of the urgent and puts the spot light on the important. Yes, the threat of cancer to shorten life calls forth a new opportunity to fully live toward the future.

For good and/or evil, cancer is now the backdrop against which I live my life. I am strangely thankful for this new drama. It is like starting over, only now the finish line is within sight. Responsibilities, disappointments, and daily routines may have robbed me of the full aroma of life without my even being aware of it. My attention may have been too much on that which was pressing and that which was passing away. Now the stakes are infinitely higher. All that has gone before was but training for this part I now play. I once again get to fight against despair. Midlife may indeed limit our hopes to merely surviving, to one day being known as having overcome. I strangely find myself now in a different place; I am renewed and cannot be satisfied with any label less than being now “more than a conqueror.”

Tomorrow, I will receive a detailed pathology report, a prognosis, and a proposed treatment plan. I am hopeful to hear it was stage one seminoma and that they believe they got it all. No other treatment is recommended at this time. That would be a great gift from God. If it is so, I will still ever be conscious of my new identity. If it is not so, I am still determined to be victorious in the manner I fight this fight.

CT Scan

2011-03-14T18:38:00.001-07:00

I had my CT scan this morning. I will not know the results until Thursday. Cheryl arrived home this evening.

Cancer Scare: Entry Two

2011-03-13T20:07:00.001-07:00

March 4

The week had been uneventful, if you don’t count the searing sensation of pulling internal stitches each time I sat down or stood up. Cheryl left Wednesday morning to be with Karisa during the birth of our third grandchild, Tegan Margaret Smith. Without a doubt, the worst part of this week was not being able to be with Karisa on the day of Tegan’s birth (Thursday, March 3) and that joined with regret about causing her stress. My brother-in-law, Mike Landers, drove up Wednesday evening from Woodstock, Georgia to assist me. He was a big help. The next day he drove me to the seminary for my afternoon class. My sister, Shirley, came up from Woodstock that evening and stayed with me until Sunday evening.

I didn’t hear from my doctor so I called his office at 3:00 P.M. on Friday; I was told he would call me back. I took a nap late that afternoon. Shirley awoke me at 6:00 P.M. for me to talk with Dr. Thacker who was calling. He had gotten a preliminary pathology report. I had seminoma, but they were not certain of the sub-type. It was definitely not lymphoma. Seminoma usually presents itself around the age of 40. Mine was an unusual case that was requiring longer to examine in order to determine any abnormalities. He would call me during the next week when he received the final report. Typical treatment for seminoma would be radiation of the lower abdomen and pelvic area without any chemo. This type of cancer responds well to radiation.

He released me for travel to Wheaton when I felt up to it. His staff would schedule a CT scan for early the next week. I was relieved but also disappointed. I felt God had acted in the diagnosis, seminoma and not lymphoma. But the calm certainty was waning.

When I took the phone call I discovered my brother, Jimmy, and his wife, Iris, were up stairs. I knew they were coming but I wasn’t certain of the hour. They stayed until Sunday morning. We had a great time talking, playing games, and putting out hay (I supervised, Shirley drove the tractor, Jimmy ruined his shoes).

March 7, 2011

Jimmy and Iris left late on Sunday morning after we put the hay out; Shirley left late Sunday after doing the laundry. I was alone for the first time since my surgery. I slept fine during the night except that I awoke around 6:00 A.M. with some discomfort. While I waited on the Advil to kick in, I watched a little TV. I went back to sleep and awoke around 8:30. I decided to drive up to Wheaton. The trip was challenging. I thought briefly about turning around in Knoxville. In Louisville it crossed my mind I might have to call Cheryl and Johnmark to meet me in northern Indiana, but with some seat adjustments I was able to drive to Wheaton. It was worth it. Tegan is priceless and it was a great relief to see Karisa; she is a great mother.

March 8, 2011

Thoughts on Having Cancer

I have three goals for dealing with my cancer. The first goal is complete deliverance. I want to be healed and live a long and productive life. I want to see my grand-children grow into mighty servants of the Lord and their children born with the favor of God upon them. I want to die from something other than cancer. I believe “divine healing is provided for all in the atonement.” Jesus conquered death, hell, and the grave. But I know that victory over death requires being joined to Christ in His suffering and death. The path to healing passes through the valley of the shadow death and self denial.

Second, I want to be a faithful servant of Christ is this battle with disease. I want to be a witness to Him in the manner I face this trial. I want to live life to the fullest even as I face my own mortality. I pray the joy of my salvation dances on the table top of my soul even as I fight the fight of faith. I want others to know there is a living hope and an eternal glory hidden in this vessel of sod.

Third, I want to milk it for all I can. There has to be some set of perks for having cancer. How about bonus AARP discounts for those with a confirmed diagnosis? They could put a special logo on our membership cards. A “no waiting” line at Disney World seems reasonable? And I already sense fatigue rising and falling on the schedule of faculty meetings. Just think about all the cool things I can purchase for myself without having to justify them. (I am going to miss those creative juices that flow when I am building the case that I need something I really, really, really want.) A Goldwing may never be a necessity, but I can now see one in my future.

Cancer Scare

2011-03-13T10:31:00.000-07:00

[I typically use this blog for family updates and pictures. I will continue to do so, but I thought it the better place to report on my cancer. What follows is an edited version of my journal.]

It always happens to someone else, at least until now. Cancer is the penultimate enemy, the fraternal twin to death. At a cellular level life reaches out and grabs for more than God intended. Uncontrolled growth leads to the inevitable, death.

My journey through this valley began just before midnight on Christmas Eve, 2010. I was preparing for bed and noticed my right testicle was enlarged. My self-examination revealed no noticeable lumps. During the next few days I did some on-line research and discovered (1) testicular cancer was rare in my age bracket – there are benefits to being old, (2) the most likely cause for the swelling would be epididymitis, and (3) other causes might be over doses of some vitamins and minerals. Since I have been on a variety of vitamins and minerals as prescribed by various doctors and friends, I decided to immediately eliminate everything except my prescriptions for high blood pressure and high cholesterol and look for changes as we moved through the holidays.

January was quite busy. I monitored the condition. There was some soreness and discomfort, but no real pain and no apparent change. By the end of the month it was obvious I needed to see a doctor. For years I had used a walk-in clinic, but I had already gotten some referrals for an internist or family practitioner. Cheryl went through my list and contacted Dr. Dennis Thompson. I went in to see him on the third day of February. He found no palpable lumps and suggested it was probably epididymitis. He did lab work on my urine (slightly elevated protein), took several vials of blood to be sent off to a lab, prescribed an antibiotic, prescribed an ultrasound, and made an appointment for me with Dr. Thacker, an urologist.

February 25

I saw Dr. Thacker two days later. He examined me and concurred with Dr. Thompson’s preliminary diagnosis and treatment. He had already received some of the results from the blood work and the markers for cancer were negative. He made an appointment for three weeks later to follow up on the effects of the antibiotics. He advised me not to expect the swelling to go down rapidly. He felt an ultrasound was not yet warranted.

The hospital began calling about scheduling the ultrasound prescribed by Dr. Thompson a week later. In light of Dr. Thacker’s observation I was in no hurry to call them back and so I waited until I was close to finishing the antibiotic regimen. As those two weeks progressed I could tell the treatment was making no difference in my condition. My thoughts fluctuated between (1) it must be a viral infection and therefore non-responsive to antibiotics, (2) Dr. Thacker had said it would take several weeks after the antibiotics for the swelling to go completely down, and (3) this is something more serious, i.e., cancer. I had a recurring concern that I was going to miss the birth of Karisa’s baby because I would be in the hospital having my testicle removed.

I had the ultrasound on February 23 and I could tell the technician was seeing something that needed special attention. When he finished I commented “I suppose you are not allowed to tell me anything.” He responded that he couldn’t but that he could get me a disk of the images. I got the feeling he thought I should look at them. He had earlier, during the test, asked who my urologist was and commented that Dr. Thacker was very good. I knew the visit with Thacker was not going to be good.

February 25

On Friday I went to see Dr. Thacker. He examined me and commented that the antibiotics had had no effect. I told him I had gotten the ultrasound and that I had brought the disk with the images. He looked at them and pointed out some troubling images including comparisons between the two testicles. He then spoke and said “Looking at these I have to tell you this appears to me to be cancer. Please wait here while I talk with the radiologist.” He went out, made the call and returned. The radiologist agreed. The protocol was to remove the testicle. He asked what I was doing early the next week. I told him my daughter was having a baby in Wheaton, Illinois but that I wasn’t scheduled to go up until the weekend. He said he didn’t think I should wait until I got back and that if we did it on Monday he might release me to travel by the weekend.

Just to be candid I am not certain which set of words were most troubling: “this appears to me to be cancer” or “remove the testicle.” My only question was why a biopsy was not warranted? He explained that one of the goals would be to keep any cancer cells from spilling into the scrotum. Removing the whole testicle was the best prophylactic against that. I did ask about treatments and he said that varied greatly depending on the type of cancer. In the best case scenario the surgery would be all that was needed. If it was a lymphoma there would be chemotherapy and possibly radiation. He referred to lymphoma two or three times leaving me with the impression that was what he thought it was. On the other hand, he may have been just covering his bases or preparing me for the worst possibility.

My sister Shirley and her husband Mike had arrived in town for a visit while I was at Dr. Thacker’s office. Even though I anticipated bad news I didn’t expect an immediate action. While they killed time at the house I went to the hospital for pre-admittance paperwork and tests (blood work, x-rays). They tried to comfort us and they took us out to eat for dinner. They are the best example of family and of friendship. I did not want the news out until I received a more definitive diagnosis. I asked Shirley to call my brother and other sister and let them know.

February 26

Saturday was a roller coaster ride. We did research on the web. Adding “lymphoma” to the query produced different results than just “testicular cancer.” The prognosis for lymphoma is not good but varies greatly depending on the type and there are about fifty types. I found myself bouncing between responses. This is the end; what should I try to get done in the next 24 months. Denial, we still don’t really know anything. I think we have caught it early; I very well could have a normal life after treatment. I began sorting through what this meant for all the things I wanted to do for Christ. My focus was on the various writing projects I have already outlined. I resolved to drop other involvements in order to focus on those things I knew God had called me to do.

Jimmy called me and shared that he had been called to prayer for someone in our family throughout the day on Friday. He inquired about how I was dealing with the news and encouraged me that God was at work for me. I am so thankful for my family and encouraged to know they hear God and respond to his call.

I don’t think I can describe the experience of having a doctor tell me I have cancer. It was surreal. Elisabeth Kübler-Ross famously identified the five stages of grief: denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance. I entered that world not as stages but as simultaneous dimensions of my existence. It was as if I heard the word “cancer” with its multiple layers of nuance engaging multiple aspects of my being. The cold and rational side of me thought “don’t be shocked; you knew it was a possibility; after all you were the first to bring up the subject.” In a parallel universe denial responded, “he didn’t say what he just said; he was confident last time it wasn’t cancer.” Before he uttered the second syllable of the cursed word I was bargaining, “this is just a wake-up call; I will get my priorities worked out and God will take care of this.” In the midst of it all I kept hearing myself, “don’t panic, don’t over react; keep a clear head.” And I did.

February 27

Sunday, February 27 was a glorious day.

By mid-afternoon on Saturday I had traversed the dark chasm of internet information on lymphoma. I was working through scenarios of how I might focus my time if the prognosis was bad. I had a moderate sense of peace and I turned my attention to the church bulletin and Sunday services. My sermon prep was poor at best but I felt confident none-the-less.

On Sunday morning I decided to share my situation with the elders, deacons, prayer team, and staff. I gathered three or four at a time between Sunday school and worship and after the service. My presentation was matter-of-fact and included a request for prayer. During prayer time I mentioned I had a “situation” for which I needed prayer without any clarification. The prayer team asked to pray for me and anoint me with oil, an uncommon but not rare event. During the prayer, Jacqueline Smith, who was visiting in preparation for being our guest speaker the next Sunday, told me the Lord wanted her to share with me something He has told her that week. She had asked why we do not see miracles like happened in the New Testament. God spoke and asked her, “Jackie, do you know what a miracle is?” She replied that she thought so and He continued. “A miracle is just Me restoring My creation to what I intended it to be.” She continued, “Pastor, God wants you to know that; a miracle is just God restoring His creation.”

I felt God’s presence and peace as I preached. Immediately after the service Renee Bauman came to me and said, “Pastor, while you were up front God spoke to me and told me to tell you He isn’t through with you yet.” She had no idea about my diagnosis or even that I was ill. I accepted that word as a word from God, but I wasn’t confident what it meant. I had wanted a “slay-me-in-the Spirit-raise-me-up-whole” kind of miracle. I didn’t want to have my testicle removed. God could heal me, restore my testicle to its proper size and let the doctors witness to God’s grace and power.

That afternoon Cheryl suggested she would like to have Doug Slocumb, our friend and co-worker, to sit with her during the surgery. He is the closest person we have as a pastor. I called and he agreed.

February 28

We arrived at the hospital at 7:15 A.M.. Doug pulled in right behind us and we walked into the building together. Sang-Ehil and Min Han were already there. Min is on our prayer team and Sang-Ehil is a close co-worker and church member. I wasn’t expecting them but I was happy to see them.

I was in a room and in a gown by 7:30. We soon discovered the surgery would not be until 9:30. Cheryl stepped out and invited the Hans to spend a little time with me. We visited a little and they asked to pray for me. Min went to the foot of the gurney, knelt and took my left foot in her hand. She prayed in Korean. I sensed a special presence of God. My eyes were closed but as she prayed the room became lighter and lighter. I knew it was the glory of God. A deep peace settled over me and I knew everything was going to be Okay no matter what happened. That peace and calm assurance remained throughout the week that followed.

After the Hans left, Cheryl and Doug returned and sat with me. Doug prayed a beautiful pastoral prayer as well. When they came to get me I remember rolling down the hall but I was out before we got to the room. When I awoke I was back in my pre-op room; the surgery was over. Cheryl said Dr. Thacker had said everything went well. A short time later he entered and told me the same. He gave me some instructions and promised to call me when the pathology report came in, but it would be at least three days.

Before long I was up and on my way to the bathroom. You must be ambulatory and you must pee before they send you home. By mid-afternoon I was snug in my easy chair. Then the fun began. Once the pain medication had worn off and I was dependent on the prescribed hydrocodon, I discovered the joys of getting into and out of a chair after surgery.

Family Visit

2011-03-06T11:23:00.000-08:00

Cheryl left on Wednesday to be with Karisa for the birth of Tegan. I am at home recovering from a medical procedure (more to come). Thanks to my family for coming up to help me recuperate. Mike was here Wednesday evening and Thursday (no picture). Shirley came on Thursday evening and is with me until now. Jimmy and Iris came on Friday and left this morning.

Star's Calf

2011-02-23T18:12:00.000-08:00

We had another calf born early this morning. Pictures to follow.

Blessing's Calf

2011-02-15T18:30:00.000-08:00

Blessing had her calf on Friday morning. Star should have her's tonight or tomorrow; I think. I'll post pictures later.

New Calf

2011-02-07T18:39:00.000-08:00

It was an eventful evening. I got home a little before 7 and went out to put out some hay for the horses. I discovered a very newborn calf. Calf and mother seem to be doing well. One of the hens was missing so I had to find her and put her back in the coop.

Justin, Camdyn & Charlie Leave; Mike, Shirley & Ryan Visit

2010-12-31T18:57:00.000-08:00

Camdyn & Charlie Ride Rose

2010-12-31T18:42:00.000-08:00

These pictures were taken by Karisa.

Between Christmas and New Years

2010-12-31T15:03:00.000-08:00

"The Force is with me."

Visit With Thelma

2010-12-29T20:20:00.000-08:00

I drove to Greenville today to assist with the funeral of one of our church members, Rev. Faye Whitten. It was a lovely funeral. Doug LeRoy, General Director of World Missions for the Church of God, shared briefly words of appreciation for Faye's ministry as a missionary. I spoke briefly about my honor in being her pastor. Pastor Robert Shepherd (retired), a close friend of Faye, brought the message. It was a wonderful tribute. Several members of the congregation spoke of Faye's impact on their lives. I also gave the closing remarks at the internment.

The cemetary was just ten or twelve miles from the nursing home where Cheryl's mother resides so that I was able to drive over and spend a few minutes with her. One of the nurses took our picture for me.

December 27

2010-12-28T16:11:00.000-08:00

Christmas in Cleveland

2010-12-26T17:48:00.000-08:00

I have had difficulty adding my Christmas pictures to this blog.

Baby Lexus

2010-12-23T13:38:00.000-08:00

I'll post better pictures tomorrow.

Great Day

2010-12-22T19:30:00.000-08:00

This one belongs on my other blog about being thankful, but here it is. Cheryl and I took the day to try out her new car. We drove over to Ellijay, Georgia and explored the antique shops. We had some of the best barbeque I have eve had. It was a great day. We came home and bought groceries for our coming guests. I stopped off at the hospital and sold a kidney to cover the check.

Back at Ellijay, I had a keen insight. Visiting antique shops can mark the stages of life. In my imagination I overheard a conversation.

A young child asked his parents "what is that?"

They replied, "I'm not sure, but I think I saw one in my grandparents house."

The grandparent chimes in, "That's right; they used it for..."

Then there is me, thinking, "I could tell them what it is. I bought one, still have it, and use it."

That's my stage of life.

Failed Journey, Terminal Friend

2010-12-21T16:09:00.000-08:00

We were scheduled to drive to Virginia on Sunday but I was ill. We left Monday morning and less than an hour into the trip one of our dearest friends was stricken with a terminal illness. Cammie, had been one of those true friends, reliable to a fault. Fair weather and foul, she carried us when we needed a lift. Although, we sometimes abused her and often neglected her, she never complained.

It all happened so quickly. As I topped a hill I felt her shutter. Within a minute we could hear a wheeze, intermitten for a few seconds and then constant and growing louder. In an instant she lost all drive an drifted off to the magins of the highway of life. We brought her home where she is lying in state. Visitation will be for a few more days. Sacreficial at all times, she was listed as an organ doner.

In our grief we drove to Chattanooga today and purchased a replacement friend. Lexie, as we call her, is a hybrid. We felt it our duty to combat the growing prejudices against bi-powered drivetrains. She has already proven a great comfort to Cheryl and I am sure she will grow on me. However, for a compact little beauty, said to go a long way on little, I suspect she has a big apetite for dough.

Pictures to follow.

Visit with Thelma

2010-11-30T20:44:00.000-08:00

We made a trip to Greenville to see Cheryl's mother yesterday. See "Jackie Speaks" for details.

Thanksgiving

2010-11-25T20:19:00.000-08:00

We had a wonderful Thanksgiving. Jimmy and Iris drove up from Florida yesterday. Shirley, Mike, Ryan and Andrea drove up from Atlanta this morning. We were blessed to have Leah Pannell and Michelle Kinjorski (students from our New Covenant family) join us. We all out did ourselves as cooks. It as wonderful.

Larry's visit.

2010-11-19T15:55:00.000-08:00

We were pleased to have Larry McQueen to stay with us a few days this week. The second picture is of friends of Camdyn on her birthday last month.

Youth Bonfire

2010-11-12T05:30:00.000-08:00

On Wednesday evening we had the church youth over for their annual bonfire. The final picture is from our return from Althea's, a view from the Skyline Parkway in the Shennandoah National Park.

Camdyn's Birthday - Saturday, the Day

2010-10-30T16:16:00.000-07:00

Today was Camdyn's birthday. She and Charlie had soccer games. Then we had a party at a community recreation center. Alethea got Camdyn a "Barbie Baby Doctor." She was not allowed o have Barbie's when she was little.

Camdyn's Birthday - Friday

2010-10-29T18:16:00.000-07:00

Cheryl and I drove to Haymarket today for Camdyn's birthday (tomorrow). She had a Girl Scout Halloween dance this evening. Thus the pictures.

Mystery Night

2010-10-22T19:53:00.000-07:00

We had some couples over for a mystery evening tonight. Cheryl had placed clues throughout the house and our guests had to solve the mystery of who the murderer was. They included Joe and Diane Hodo, Doug and Joyce Slocumb, and Tony and Sue Richie.

Wedding in the Mountains

2010-09-18T14:37:00.000-07:00

Today, Cheryl and I drove over to Greasy Creek, Tennessee for a wedding. Greasy Creek is close to Reliance and the scenic Hiawassie River; it is surrounded by the Cherokee National Forrest. The ceremony was in the yard of the groom's parents.

Fueling for Flight

2010-09-10T11:26:00.000-07:00

The humming birds are getting ready for their long flight to Central America.

Benton Falls

2010-09-04T16:40:00.000-07:00

Benton Falls under normal conditions

(Photo taken last Thanksgiving)

Karisa, Cheryl, and I hiked to Benton Falls this afternoon. We have never seen it with so little water.

Karisa, Shirley & Mike

2010-09-04T10:57:00.000-07:00

Karisa is visiting for the weekend. Shirley and Mike stopped by to visit on their way to a Tennessee football game.

Thelma's 94th Birthday

2010-08-27T19:09:00.000-07:00

Cheryl's mother will celebrate her 94th birthday next week. We went over today to celebrate with a party. Cheryl's sisters, Glenda and Ruth, were there. Glenda's daughter, April, and her son, Zach, were there. Cheryl's nephew, Josh, also came.

Cherokee, N.C.

2010-08-14T08:56:00.000-07:00

Juniper Springs

2010-07-26T16:50:00.000-07:00

On occasion I have to travel on a Sunday; I don’t like it. I want to be in church on Sunday. I of course get ill and miss from time to time. I admit there has been a couple of times when I was traveling that I could have gone but found it difficult to find a church on a Sunday morning and so I just missed. Yesterday, Cheryl and I chose to do the Juniper Run instead of finding a church.

The Juniper Run is not a run; it is a seven mile canoe trip that begins at Juniper Springs in the Ocala National Forrest. I have known Cheryl for 37 years next month and for all that time I have watched the glow on her face when she talked about Juniper Springs. It was the most magical place of her childhood. Her father had been a CCC boy in the 1930’s and had worked on the Deleon Springs near Deland. In the early to mid 60’s he took his family camping at Juniper Springs. The CCC boys had developed this site as well. The main spring feeds into a huge pool that I would guess to be 30 to 40 yards in diameter. The water is 72 degrees year round; jump in and you will swear (or affirm if you’re still a holiness person) it is 32. In various places in the park you will see water bubbling up through limestone forming a crystal clear blue pool over white sand.

The stream begins at the large pool and meanders through the forest slowly gaining breadth, depth and force as other springs feed into it. The run is an obstacle course shaped by the processes of nature. For most of the seven miles the creek is ten to 15 feet wide and shallow enough to use the paddle as a push-pole. Sandbars appear frequently. Cyprus stumps lurk beneath, unseen until they nearly capsize your miniature Titanic. The greatest challenges are downed trees. Many lay across the path a couple of feet above the water from bank to bank; duck or take a swim with the gators. Others rest below competing with the stumps for most capsizes in a day. It is a challenge to maneuver through these sundry obstacles. Most of the people we met on the run flipped their boat at least once. We didn’t.

When we entered the park and inquired about the run the ranger warned “You will get wet and it will test your marriage.” She was wrong on both counts. We worked well as a team with only a couple of exceptions.

We didn’t see much wild life, just a few birds, lots of fresh water mullet, one alligator, and a host of turtles. I took several pictures but only a few were worth keeping. If you ever take the trip don’t bother taking a camera, there is not a lot of opportunity to point and shoot.

There weren’t many people there yesterday. It’s too far off the interstate highways. Ours was the only out of state car tag in the lot. The camp grounds that were overflowing in Cheryl’s youth were all but empty, no electricity or onsite sewage are probably to blame.

While in the area we stayed at the Shamrock B&B, in Weirsdale. It is a good place to stay. The owners are Christians whose 14 year old daughter was run over and killed at her bus stop eight weeks ago. Please pray for the Overcash Family.

Silence

2010-07-24T06:02:00.000-07:00

Karisa and Johnmark left yesterday. Alethea, Justin, Camdyn and Charlie pulled out a few minutes ago. We are embraced with a sad silence. I am reminded of my parents standing on their front porch looking forlorn as we drove away. I always imagined they turned, snickered, entered the house, exhaled, and broke out in song "Free at last, free at Last, thank God Almighty, we're free at last." Okay, I knew my version wasn't true but it made me feel better about abandoning my progenitors.

Now I am faced with the poignant truth that there is an emptyness when your loved ones retreat to the routine of their lives and you are now the one left standing on the front porch. Well, standing on the deck of a sea-side cottage.

Saint George on Tuesday/Wednesday

2010-07-21T18:35:00.000-07:00

Stanley Lane came to visit last evening. He joined in the game of choice this year, "The Settlers of Catan." We went to the beach this morning and again this evening. In the afternoon we climbed the St. George Light House. After supper everyone returned to Catan.

Uno

2010-07-21T11:17:00.000-07:00

We were playing Uno and Camdyn was winning. I was seated next to her and asked her to "remember who your Papa is."

She replied, "I am my own person and I know how to win."

Jacksonville

2010-07-20T07:32:00.000-07:00

Our vacation began with a trip to Jacksonville to see my sister, Darlene, her husband, Thurman, their son Jonathan, his wife, Jennifer, my brother, Jimmy, and his wife, Iris. But the real reason was to meet Jonathan and Jennifer's son, Alex (3 months old) and to see my niece's, Christina, daughters, Kathryn and Natalia, who were visiting from Texas. While there we took a boat ride in the Okeefenoke Swamp. A good time was had by all.

Nickajack Cave

2010-06-19T20:44:00.000-07:00

We took the kids to Coolidge Park in Chattanooga and to Nickajack Caves this evening. Emily Stone and her three adorable children met us there. The caves are home to one of the largest bevies of gray bats in the eastern USA. It is also the place where Johnny Cash had a transforming encounter with God.

TGIF

2010-06-18T18:33:00.000-07:00

Its Friday. I spent the morning at the Seminary. My sister Shirley drove up from Atlanta and spent the afternoon with us.

Blue Hole

2010-06-17T19:07:00.000-07:00

We took the kids to the Blue Hole this afternoon. Charlie is fearless. Camdyn took a few minutes to accept swimming in a river but soon became a fish.

Journey Home

2010-06-16T18:54:00.000-07:00

We drove home today. Cheryl rode with Alethea and the kids except Charlie rode with me the first couple of hours. We stopped at Natural Bridge, Virginia to visit the Toy Museum. It is an iteresting collection of dolls and toys, but not one I would highly recommend. One of Alethea's neighbors just inherited it an we stopped in for support. The Natural Bridge interprise includes tours of the natural bridge, a wax museum and factory, the toy museum, a hotel, and a gift and snack shop. It was worth the stop just for the ice cream.

Overheard

2010-06-16T05:46:00.000-07:00

Cheryl and I were walking through Central Park when two middle-aged, well-to-do power walkers passed us. One said, "No I'm not getting one of those. I wouldn't have a dog smaller than 60 pounds. Anything less than 60 pounds isn't a dog. It's just a rodent."

When we got to Alethea's we gave Camdyn and Charlie their gifts. Charlie had just gotten his Lego set open and explored when he looked at Cheyl and with disappointment said, "Nanny, I like Legos with weapons."

New York - Day 6

2010-06-15T18:21:00.000-07:00

We left New York this afternoon. The morning was spent cleaning the apartment and packing. We walked up to Madison and 90th but the shop Cheryl wanted was closed. We had a nice lunch at the same diner where we had beakfast a few days ago. We hailed a cab at 1:30 (first picture of Cheryl) and boarded our bus at 2:30. We arrived at Union Station in Washington at 7:10. Alethea, Camdyn, and Charlie were waiting for us. We played "I see something (color)" on the ride to Haymarket.

New York - Day 5

2010-06-14T15:38:00.000-07:00

Today, we alked through Central Park on our way to Line 1 of the subway. We took the subway to Battery Park at the southern tip of Manhatten. From there we took a ferry to see the Statue of Liberty and Ellis Island. I bought the tickeys on-line which is the best way to go. You get reserve tickets which shortens the wait time once you get there. However, purchase them well in advance. You have to purchase special tickets to enter the statue and an additional ticket to climb the stairs to the cown of the statue. They must be purchased before you get on the ferry. They were sold out sometime before I purchased our tckets on Saturday. We stopped at 59th street on the ride back to the apartment for some shopping. Joy to the world, another fifteen blocks of walking.

The photos reveal it was was a cloudy and hazy day. I also recommend the rental of the audio tour. It provides insight to the immigrant experience. Also, don't miss the free movie on Ellis Island. It is a good intro to the tour.

New York - Day 4

2010-06-13T18:56:00.000-07:00

There are no pictures today. We went to worship this morning here at the Madison Avenue Presbyterian Church (see Jackie Speaks). We planned to go to the Times Square Church this evening but it stormed and we are several blocks from the subway. After the rain I took Cheryl out so she could score a fix, i.e., her daily walk through Central Park. It calms her down. We ended up walking down to 60th Street and over to 2nd Avenue. The restaurant had a long wait so we went looking for a bakery, all the way up to 77th Street. That's 17 blocks down and 17 back and five or six blocks both ways east and west. Cheryl tries to walk 4 miles every day. The walk eded up costing me $50.00 in stops at a bakery, a deli and a boutique. Cheryl had a great time; she "forgot" her purse in the apartment.

New York - Day 3

2010-06-12T19:18:00.000-07:00

Today, we took the subway to the Staten Island Ferry and road over to Staten Island to see Danny and Rachel Alrarez. Rachel prepared a wonderful Thai meal for us. It was close to 5 when we got back. We stayed in an watched a movie.

New York - Day 2

2010-06-11T21:16:00.000-07:00

We had a wonderful day: late breakfast at a local diner, a few hours in the Metropolitan Museum of Art, walk through Central Park, afternoon nap, fabulous dinner on 44th Street, stroll to Times Square and down to Grand Central Station and back, climaxed with going to see Denzel Washington in the play "Fences," followed by a leisurely walk back to the apartment (4 blocks over, 25 blocks up).

New York - Day 1

2010-06-10T17:48:00.000-07:00

On Day One we had breakfast in the apartment. At mid-morning we went out and walked through Central Park, caught the subway south to 66th Avenue, went to Best Buy to purchase a camera (Someone has misplaced my travel camera), dropped in at the American Bible Society and spent a few minutes with Lamar Vest and Debbie Davis, had lunch at an Indian restaurant (Sapphire), walked south twenty blocks looking for the theater where Denzel Washington is playing (didn't find it), and walked back thirty one blocks. In the afternoon it rained (hard) so we took naps. This evening we walked through Central Park (see picture of Cheryl -- it was muggy) to the west side where we purchased milk shakes (the Shake Shack -- no kidding). I took the picture of the Madison Avenue Presbyterian Church (where we are staying) when we returned.

Cheryl

2010-06-10T13:56:00.000-07:00

Short Visit with Camdyn & Charlie

2010-06-10T05:01:00.000-07:00

On my way up to New York I spent one evening with Alethea, Justin, Camdyn, and Charlie. I gained a couple of words of wisdom.

When I first arrived I met the family at a restaurant where Camdyn's soccer team was having their year end celebration (Justin was the Assistant Coach). I picked Charlie up in my left arm and Camdyn in my right arm for hugs and carried them into the restaurant. As we were walking in I commented, "My, you kids are getting big."

Camdyn replied "I know I am, Papa."

"How do you know that," I asked.

"Because your arm is really shaking, Papa," came her response. I'll just blame my fragility on the virus Cheryl brought back from Sweden. I'm getting a lot of milage out of that virus.

Yesterday morning I played trains with Charlie and Camdyn. Each engine has a name and therefore a gender. Camdyn loves to organize them according to gender and size. She lined all of the female engines up from smallest to largest. If my bones were not aching so much sitting on the floor I might of had the presence of mind to explore her thought processes. Charlie was not at all interested in his sister's ability to sequence and catagorize. He just knew she was taking his cars off his track.

After Camdyn went to school Charlie and I went to his room to play with blocks, again on the floor.

At one point during the visit Charlie said something about Johnny Cash. He informed me he had never seen the Man in Black and wanted to know if I had. He wants to visit the bat caves at Nickajack Lake where "Johnny Cash died." Somehow he has reached that conclusion from a Cash video he watches. In the conversation he instructed me, "If you want to see Johnny Cash you will have to go to heaven. That's where he sings now."

My thoughts went to a comment I heard Cash's son make about him, "my Dad was the most Godly of great sinners who ever lived." I hope I hear him sing in person someday, unless he went down to that other "burning ring of fire."

Atlanta

2010-05-15T07:34:00.000-07:00

Cheryl and I spent last evening with Shiley and Mike in Atlanta. Ryan and Andrea met us for dinner. Thanks Mike and Shirley for a great evening and meal.

I dropped Cheryl off at the airport at 7:30 this morning.

Fall Creek Falls

2010-05-04T19:11:00.000-07:00

Before leaving our faculty retreat today I took a few pictures.

Mid-spring at Home

2010-04-30T17:53:00.000-07:00

Our rhododendron is in bloom.

Sweden

2010-04-13T13:29:00.000-07:00

Cheryl is in Sweden lecturing at Uppsala University. I hope she brings back some chocolate. I fear she will return with a Volvo.

Buhl's Visit

2010-04-11T13:53:00.000-07:00

John, Lena, Alexandra, Simon, and Anna Buhl spent the night with us last night nd went to church with us this morning. John and Lena dated while attending the Seminary and attending New Covenant. The now live in the suburbs of Atlanta.

Motorcycle Trip

2010-04-02T16:57:00.000-07:00

We took advantage of the day off and did a road trip to Robbinsville, North Carolina via the Cherohala Skyway. The Cherohala is one of the most beautiful drives in America. In the higher elevations we stopped to play in the snow, really. We also detoured a few miles to visit the Joyce Kilmer Forrest. One of the last old growth forrests in all of Appalachia.

Justin, Camdyn & Carlie Visit

2010-04-02T06:32:00.000-07:00

We were blessed to have Justin, Camdyn & Charlie with us Sunday evening through Thursday morning.

Busy Week

2010-03-27T21:01:00.000-07:00

It was a very busy week. I was involved in three Doctor of Ministry defenses. John Taylor defended his Prospectus for his doctoral project. He is pictured here with his wife Faye. They were charter member of New Covenant. On Thursday we inducted Dr. Douglas Slocumb into the Seminary's Hall of Prophets. He is pictured with his wife, Joyce. James and Virginia Beaty were there as were former students Leah, Kelley, Carrie and Michelle (Carrie and Leah are members of New Covenant). Our dear friend Stanley Lane was up for a weekend visit.

Calhoun, Georgia

2010-03-20T10:58:00.000-07:00

Last evening I drove down and Mike and Shirley drove up to Calhoun, Georgia where we met an had a meal at the Longhorn Steakhouse. It is always great to be with them.

P.S. Mike my apologies about the picture. The sun was irritating.

Guest

2010-03-14T19:13:00.000-07:00

It was good to have Larry McQueen visiting Thursday evening through this morning. He is well into his doctoral program.

Trip to South Carolina

2010-03-13T09:36:00.000-08:00

Yesterday I went to South Carolina to see Cheryl's mom. I had lunch with Josh and Bethany. For more on that visit see my other blog. Because Highway 64 is closed due to major rock slide I had to take a suthern route: Chattsworth, Elijay, Dawsonville, Gainseville, I-85. It is a lovely drive through the southern foothills of Appalachia exept there was a heavy fog going and thunderstorms coming. I have driven by this church near Dawsonville several times but never noticed it is a Church of God. The sign out front just says "New Life." On the return trip I noticed the Church of God logo above the door and the American flag beside it. I turned around to take some pictures. I am always troubled to see a national flag flown at a church. In Christ we have only one banner and it is the banner of His Kingdom. Flying the national flag at a church blurs the distinction between the sovereignty of Christ and the sovereignty of the nation. Ultimately this blinds us to the sinful patterns of our society. I think everyone should be patriotic, just not at church. The interesting aspect of this picture is that the Church of God logo with the cross at the center is higher than the flag.

Beautiful Sights

2010-03-11T08:41:00.000-08:00

I love taking pictures, but I seldom have the camera handy when I need it. I wish you could have seen three things at my house this week. First, the three calves were chasing each other around our pasture for five to ten minutes. I should have gotten the movie camera, but I have grown weary of trying to catch such scenes; they always stop to look at me as soon as I open the door.

Second, last evening when I drove on to our driveway and stopped to get the mail there were two young Mallard ducks on our pond. Third, as I walked back from the mailbox I looked up and saw two young deer in our pasture. They ran around a minute pausing at the electric fence before jumping it. They came around the barn just a few yards from me, jumped the fence and ran into the pasture in front of our house before disappearing into the woods.

Leaving Minneapolis

2010-03-07T06:12:00.000-08:00

It has been a good SPS. We are headed to the airport in a few minutes where we will board planes for different destinations. We have completed five weeks of Chery's sabbitical leave. So many more to go.

SPS 2010

2010-03-05T04:44:00.000-08:00

Cheryl met me at my gate when I arrived in Minneapolis yesterday. That doesn't happen often in today's world. My flight was delayed four hours so that I arrived ten minutes after her. Sweet reunion. We had a powerful opening session: phenominal worship, great paper.

Alice's Calf

2010-02-28T18:17:00.000-08:00

Here are a couple of pictures of the calves. Alice's new calf, born yesterday morning, is the brown one. It was getting dark when I took the pictures.

Charlie

2010-02-23T19:06:00.000-08:00

Alethea made my day this evening. She told me how Charlie likes to talk back to the TV, especially when a question is asked.

A couple of days ago Dora the Explorer asked, "What is your favorite thing to do today."

Charlie answered, "Go to my Papa's church and sit up front and talk into the microphone."

I love my grandchildren.

A Phone Message

2010-02-22T11:09:00.000-08:00

Camdyn tried to call me on my cell phone last night but missed me. She left two messages. The first was silence. The second, recorded a minute later, went like this, "Papa, we tried to call Nanny but she didn't pick up. So we decided to call you."

I guess I know my place. She did close with "I love you." That makes the sky blue.

Up to date

2010-02-21T11:13:00.000-08:00

There isn't a lot to report on the Johns family. Cheryl is flying from New York to Pittsburg, she is on a committee for the Association of Theological Schools (ATS) that is meeting to give out a lot of money to young seminary professors to do research and writing. She will fly back to New York tomorrow night.

I am at home working on the accreditation report to ATS. God was good to us in church this morning. That is he helped me not to reveal too much of my ignorance and we had a good season of prayer in the altars. We had a love feast (meal) afterwards to raise money for missions. Last month we gave over $1000.00 for our missionaries.

Meantime, I am sleepy and stressed. God is faithful.

Work

2010-02-20T08:51:00.000-08:00

As you all know Cheryl is in New York. It will be three weeks this Monday. I have been extremely busy working on an accreditation report. Right now its Saturday and I am in my office at school working on it. It has to be mailed next Thursday. I will rejoice exceedingly, except that will be the time when it sinks in that Cheryl is actually gone.

Snow Again -- Views From My House

2010-02-13T08:26:00.000-08:00

Alice in the Snow

2010-02-12T16:12:00.000-08:00

Alice (named by Camdyn) was born on our place two years ago. She was one of our first. She will have a calf in a few weeks.

Another Calf

2010-02-11T13:38:00.001-08:00

Blessing had her calf this morning, another heifer.

Calf Pictures for Camdyn and Charlie

2010-02-06T19:32:00.000-08:00

These are not the best pictures. I took them as it was getting dark this evening. Star had brought her new calf up near the house and I went out and snapped the pictures through the fence (thus the shadows).

Another Calf

2010-02-05T18:17:00.000-08:00

Star had her calf early this morning, a heifer. I had to separate the various animals for the good of the calf. I hope to get a picture tomorrow.

Coffee

2010-02-03T04:25:00.000-08:00

It is much easier to get up in the morning when you smell the coffee. I miss my coffee maker.

Love you Dear.

Alone

2010-02-01T17:10:00.000-08:00

Cheryl flew to New York today for a five-month research leave. In thirty five years of marriage the longest we have been apart is a couple of weeks. At least we can video chat on a regular basis and we will see each other several times during the period.

If I had time I would keep a public journal on the psycho-social adjustments. Now that would be entertaining reading. But then again I'm not that big of a fool.

My Favorite Birds

2010-01-30T13:22:00.000-08:00

Thieves, Snow and Birds

2010-01-29T15:18:00.000-08:00

Three thieves broke into our storage shed at the church last night. One of the men of our church discovered the break-in this morning. We got some video on our surveillance cameras. I lost several hours today meeting with the police and making a copy of the video for them. If you see an older Jeep Cherokee, black over gray (or silver) in the area of the church take down the tag number and get it to me. One was a teen with short dark hair. One was in his twenties with a beard. The other was possibly in his forties.

We have snow and sleet. Cheryl and I both had difficulty getting home tonight. There were a lot of cars in the ditch along the way. But the birds are feasting at the feeder.

Video of Charlie

2010-01-25T19:09:00.000-08:00

You have to see this video of my grandson, Charlie. Read Alethea's commentary first.

A Link to a tribute to Elysée Joseph

2010-01-25T06:16:00.000-08:00

Dr. James Beaty, professor emeritus at the Pentecostal Theological Seminary, has penned a biographical tribute to the phenominal life and ministry of Elysée Joseph, overseer of the Church of God in Haiti who was killed in last week’s tragic earthquake. I had the privilege of having Brother Joseph as a student and I was honored to speak at a graduation event in Haiti a few years ago. Please take the time to read the tribute and continue to pray for Pastor Joseph's family and all who are suffering in Haiti. Follow this link to the tribute.

Vandals & Work Day at New Covenant

2010-01-23T15:54:00.000-08:00

Please pray for the vandal(s) who have broken the windows and front door of our church. He/she/they need the Lord and to learn accountability. Some men of the church worked hard to board up the windows last Saturday. The vandals busted out the boards Sunday night and did more damage Tuesday. Today we installed a security camera system and some of the young men of the church tackeled several other projects as well. Thanks Matthew Sawyer, Richard Rutherford, Brian Dalton, Israel Waldrop, Matt Rodante and Kendal Kennedy.

New Bird Feeder

2010-01-21T05:46:00.000-08:00

Cheryl felt we needed a bigger bird feeder. (See a previous post for pictures of the old one.) I had bought the previous one on ebay. We received a cash gift for Christmas which combined with a small pay check for teaching a directed study gave her almost enough money to buy this one. Her motto: "almost is just enough if you really want it." What can I say? She's a Democrat. Let her know on FB if it was worth it. [OK, I made up the motto just for a cheap political jab and I really like the bird feeder.]