Slow to Forgive – Never Forget

On my branch of the Johns tree we are known for our long memories, especially of transgressions. My Dad had two uncles who had adjoining farms. It was reported they wouldn’t speak to each other for thirty years. The story goes that they would even work their fields side by side, divided only by a fence, and not say a word to each other. They reconciled before they died.

My firsthand experience with this family trait was highlighted at the time of my Grandmother Johns’ death. Her body lay in state in the living room of the home place. Friends and neighbors brought food and shared their condolences. Minnie Ruth and Rufus Crews were among the visitors. I knew them well because we had “share-cropped” our tobacco fields with them for a couple of years. Those were good times of tobacco sap, sweat, grime, and all you could eat home cooking under the shade trees at their house. Their farm was directly across the road from ours and adjacent to my Grandparents on my mother’s side.

When Rufus and Minnie left, Alma Herrin Batton, one of my Dad’s cousins on his father’s side (Daughter of his Aunt Fancy Johns Herrin), asked “Who was them folks?” My Grandmother’s sister Trudy responded, “Why them’s your kinfolk. She’s your Uncle Harmon’s baby girl, Minnie Ruth.” To this Alma huffed, “Huh, they ain’t no kin of mine.”

Now for the backstory: Minnie Ruth Johns Crews was the youngest child of Harmon Robison Johns and Anna “Babe” Crews Johns. Harmon was the half brother of my grandfather, Albert Johns, making Minnie Ruth my Dad’s first cousin, a fact I did not know until I was grown. Harmon was the only child of my great-grandmother Lavinia Crews Robison Johns and her first husband, Harmon James Robison, who was killed during the Civil War. Harmon was reportedly the favorite child of my Great-grandfather, even though he was not his biological offspring. Alma’s mother was Fancy Johns Herrin, my Great Grandfather’s oldest biological child. Although, when the above event happened I knew we were related but I didn't know just how that was so.

As the story goes, when my Great-grandfather, George Washington Johns, was widowed and in poor health he went to stay with Harmon and his family. He took a “sack full” of money with him when he went, including a sizable collection of gold coins he had saved from his pension as a Confederate soldier. In time there was a falling out over something and George was sent to live with others. According to my Dad, only my grandfather and a couple of others were willing for their father to stay with them. This created a rift in the family. When George died some of the sons asked Harmon about the sack of money, to which Harmon responded “What money? He didn’t bring no money to my house.”

Harmon was disowned by all, and the others were divided over who had been willing to help take care of their father. So thorough was the dissolution of Harmon’s place in the family that his story became distorted. My father, his siblings, and their fellowshipping cousins had somehow come to consider Harmon to be an illegitimate member of the family. I was incorrectly told by some that he was my Great-grandfather’s illegitimate son by an unnamed woman.  Hence, at my Grandmother’s death Alma did not recognize Minnie Ruth, Harmon’s daughter and therefore her own her first cousin, who lived just five miles from her. At the time I was told Minnie Ruth was a distant relative, but we didn’t claim that side of the family. It wasn’t until I did some genealogical research that I could piece together family stories with facts and discover how short the distance actually was.